By Troy Brownfield

Friends and Family

I've been away from the big column for a bit, but trust me when I say that I have good reason. Let's back up a little a big event that many Shotgunners bore witness to back at the opening of July before building up to what is (for me) even bigger news.

Shawn and Heather: Shawn Delaney hath been my friend, lo these many years. Anyone who follows the site knows that Shawn's our webmaster, and he and I have been friends for over 20 years. Heather Locke, who was until recently Shawn's girlfriend, then fiancée, did a grand job with the site redesign here just a few short (is it years already? Geez…) years ago. And so, it was cause for much celebration here in internet land just a few weeks back when Shawn and Heather commenced with the knot-tying on Friday, July 2nd.

Though there were many threats of rain, the deluge never materialized and the day was very clear. (It is fair to say, however, that somewhere, the Heat Miser was getting his rocks off.). It turned out to be a great bright day in the beautiful Garfield Conservatory here in Indianapolis

The flowers and fountains were spectacular, and after a very nice ceremony, the scene shifted to the Indiana Historical Society, where a terrific reception was enjoined under the stars. Music was provided by the Midcoast Swing Orchestra, though Shawn and John Elder did take their turns on vocals in old-school, Rat Pack style.

It was a wonderful day for seeing old friends. Brent and Michelle (who I actually do see a few times a year) were there, as were Bill and Cheryl Dando (who stayed with Becky and I a couple of evenings, allowing us to see Spider-Man 2 together) and Mark Dillon and his wife Carol. The next day, there was a brunch hosted by Heather's family, and we got to hang with the newlyweds before they split for Italy.

All in all, it was a great time. I don't recall ever seeing Shawn quite so happy. By and large, my friends have been very lucky with their partners. Shawn and Heather are that swell kind of couple that actually enjoy being around one another. It's great to see. So here's again to my pal and his wife, the Big News of Early July.

The Big News That I Hadn't Talked About Until Now: It's funny; when I think about what I'm about to say, I kind of consider it the Big News of Early June. Then again, only Becky and I knew about it then, so it was kind of like the Big Secret of Early June.

Sometime during February of 2005, Becky is going to give birth, and I am officially going to be a dad.

Crazy, in'it?

It's still vaguely surreal and hard to grasp. It's one of those things that breaks down into perfect clarity in retrospect. I can't for the life of me tell you what my schedule was for any individual semester in college, but I know that for the rest of my life, I'll be able to tell you the precise order of events that precipitated our discovery of this life-altering fact.

My and Becky's lives have completely changed, and it's so big, so mind-bendingly big, that it's pretty difficult to actually comprehend. I spent many, many days this summer working on finishing our basement, which is now an office/library/action figure museum. It's fortunate that I've about completed it, because now the former office has to be converted into a nursery.

A nursery! In my house! The mind friggin' boggles.

Needless to say, the wife and I are incredibly excited about this (the cats probably less so). This is something we've wanted for a while, and we feel fortunate that it was able to happen. It's so bizarre to see copies of What To Expect… and Your Pregnancy Week-by-Week tucked in among my stacks of review material and comics. It's outright crazy to understand that soon, there will be a tiny life depending on me that doesn't receive its food in a dish or through an aquarium hood.

This is a Great Thing. I know lots of people. I have lots of great friends, and I've met and had conversations with some interesting parties. Hell, I've even interacted with some of my heroes, famous celebrities, and persons of historical significance (and I mean like senators, not Third Stormtrooper From the Left in Scene 53). But I can honestly tell you that I've never been more excited to meet someone than I am to meet the little boy or girl that's going to make his or her entrance during the shortest month. That's going to be an honest-to-goodness Event, a real ground-quaker on the life-timeline Richter scale. Frankly, I can't wait.

And If That Didn't Shock You…: To top off the Biggest News of My Life, I feel like I need to make another announcement. I've been offered, and have accepted, a teaching position with a small college nearby. I won't be moving, I won't be quitting my freelancing, and I definitely will not abandon the site. However, I will be getting a chance to teach journalism, communication, English, and film, and that's monstrously exciting.

Obviously, this has been a pretty huge couple of months. Becky and I find out about the pregnancy, Shawn and Heather get married, Becky turns 30, and then I land the teaching position. To say that Things Have Changed would be low-balling it.

Now back to the junk you come here for…

I Heard The News Sunday, Oh Boy: More News, this time of the Huey Lewis variety. Sunday night, Becky and I saw the former '80s chart kings courtesy of our dear-departed '80s station (which recently took the dirt nap and was converted into a cringe-worthy Christian "rock" station). The thing that's super-shocking about Huey and the boys is exactly how many hits that they had. Quite frankly, it's stunning beyond belief.

Consider: Do You Believe In Love? Workin' for a Livin'. Heart of Rock 'N' Roll. Heart and Soul. Bad is Bad. I Want a New Drug. Walking on a Thin Line. If This Is It. The Power of Love. Back in Time. Stuck With You. Hip to Be Square. Jacob's Ladder. Doing It All For My Baby. I Know What I Like. Small World. Perfect World. Gimme the Keys. Couple Days Off. It's All Right. I Like It. (I'll quit before I start sounding like Patrick Bateman)

It's amazing to me how many hits certain acts have had. You're sort of retrained by "classic" radio or conditioned by retrospective shows to only remember certain ones. It's a fact, for example, that Rick Springfield had Top 40 hits numbering in the teens, but "Jessie's Girl" is the one that's most referenced. Hell, Laura Branigan had a mess of them; aside from Gloria and Self-Control, there was Solitaire, Shattered Glass, The Lucky One, How Am I Supposed to Live Without You (later covered by Michael "He's the one who sucks" Bolton) and Power of Love (later covered by Celine Dion).

But back to Huey. Whether you like his tunes or not, there are quite a few things to be admired about him and the band. For one, the band has been together without a significant line-up change for decades; that's pretty impressive. The band themselves are great musicians in their own right; in fact, read the liner notes really closely on Elvis Costello's My Aim is True, and then tell me who backed him up. What we have in Huey and the News are the quintessential bar band made good, a bunch of fun-loving guys who ultimately just desired to play classic R&B and doo-wop inspired up-tempo rock with a gang of buddies. The fact that they technically still sound as strong as 15 years ago and can still draw a huge crowd is just icing. They aren't The Ramones or The Beatles, but they're fine with that. If I may be so bold, I bet Huey would even say, "That's all right; I like it."

The Amazing Race: I pause here to address one of the best of the reality shows. I hate Mirna. True, Charla is annoying because she blathers that she's just as capable of a bigger person and yet finds ways to milk her height for tips and treats in every installment, but I reserve my cold, steely hatred for her cousin. I know that TV Guide's Matt Roush claims that it's personalities like her that make good reality TV captivating. For me, they make me want to buy a cricket bat and employ it for something other than its stated purpose. Mirna's whiny sense of entitlement is like fingernails on a chalkboard, with the added bonus of the chalkboard being shoved up your ass.

Bill Simmons is The Man: I don't normally make it a practice to gush over other journalists. (And yes, I'm a journalist; my work's in print and I have pay-stubs). But for Simmons, I'll make an exception. Not only is he one of the best analysts to ever turn an eye towards sports, he's damn funny. That, and his Page 2 Sports Guy columns at ESPN.com regularly feature enough brilliant referencing and '80s obsessiveness to make both Kevin Smith and me bow. For God's sake, the Vengeance Scale column alone assures his place in the pantheon of brilliance. I am completely sincere when I say that I wish I had written that.

Recap: Holy shit, I'm going to be a father! And a professor (well, assistant; you know the vagaries of tenure). And Shawn got married. Man, if the Colts, Pacers and Cubs win this year and the Superman movie gets made, ye shall know the end is nigh.

And One More Thing: My impending fatherhood shall not change my politics. In fact, I am now in even better position to rail on the idiots that would deprive me of my entertainment because they can't properly parent their own children. Next time down the line when some jerk-off reads one of my frequent lessons on the meaning of the First Amendment and whiningly asks, "But are you a parrrreeennnntt?", I can say, "Yes, I am, so you're an even bigger fucking moron." Thanks, kid.

Troy Brownfield is the Editor-in-Chief of Shotgun Reviews. Email Troy at psikotyk@aol.com

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