By Troy Brownfield

Reality, Morality, and Bullshit

Consider this a special report from the cultural front lines. For those who care about such things, Jenna won Survivor: The Amazon last night. She won by whining, bitching, and somehow being lucky enough to win the two most crucial immunity challenges in the entire game (one of which she pulled out by literal blind luck, the other win she managed by having bizarrely long toes and clawlike feet; if you don't believe me, check the tape). Anyone who has watched this season knows that the true victor should have, by all rights, been Rob; his lying, scheming and outright brilliant manipulations truly play to the principle of "Outplay, Outwit, Outlast". Were it not for Jenna's fluke victories at the end, Rob was your boy. However, that's not my issue.

What IS my issue is how often the words "honesty" and "morality" came up near the end of the game. CBS's most amazing accomplishment with Survivor seems not to be the ratings or the money, but the fact that they constantly keep getting these starry-eyed idiots to play the game who think that there's some notion of fair. The whole fabric of the game is the concept of surviving to the end. If it was all about physicality or intellect, there would be no social interaction. The creators WANT there to be competition, backstabbing, and deceit; in fact, that's what makes it fun. If I want to see skilled people compete in mental or physical disciplines, I'd watch "Jeopardy!" or basketball.

The attraction of Survivor is a) Americans like game shows, b) they often have attractive people in exotic places, and c) someone is going to fuck someone over. I'll admit it; I watch for C, and I most often HATE so-called reality TV. I could give a crap about blow-job-queen Monica Lewinsky and her fetish masked army of bachelors. I don't waste time on American Idol past the first two episodes (I only watch the early installments to see the awful singers get ridiculed; stay past that, and you're only seeing which cookie-cutter pop wannabe is chosen to sing the next tinny, tacky jingle that permeates our already bought-and-paid-for radio air waves). I watched the end of "Joe Millionaire" just to see if the chick who'd been lied to freaked out. Essentially, I guess I just enjoy seeing what game show contestants are willing to do in a social setting for money (which I why I dislike Fear Factor; outside of so-lame-it's-crippled trash talk, there's no social context).

But to keep mentioning morality over and over: give me a break. Even if you claim to not have watched the five previous installments, you know that going to compete for a million dollars automatically takes you out of the altruism sweepstakes. This is no morality in competing for money: that's not a judgement; it's the simple truth. There is nothing WRONG with competing for money; it just has nothing to do with morality. Kids, let's go to Webster's! (Source:Dictionary.com and Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.)

morality \Mo*ral"i*ty\, n.; pl. Moralities. [L. moralitas: cf. F. moralit['e].]
1. The relation of conformity or nonconformity to the moral standard or rule; quality of an intention, a character, an action, a principle, or a sentiment, when tried by the standard of right. The morality of an action is founded in the freedom of that principle, by virtue of which it is in the agent's power, having all things ready and requisite to the performance of an action, either to perform or not perform it. --South.
2. The quality of an action which renders it good; the conformity of an act to the accepted standard of right. Of moralitee he was the flower. --Chaucer. I am bold to think that morality is capable of demonstration. --Locke.
3. The doctrines or rules of moral duties, or the duties of men in their social character; ethics. The end of morality is to procure the affections to obey reason, and not to invade it. --Bacon. The system of morality to be gathered out of . . . ancient sages falls very short of that delivered in the gospel. --Swift.
4. The practice of the moral duties; rectitude of life; conformity to the standard of right; virtue; as, we often admire the politeness of men whose morality we question.
5. A kind of allegorical play, so termed because it consisted of discourses in praise of morality between actors representing such characters as Charity, Faith, Death, Vice, etc. Such plays were occasionally exhibited as late as the reign of Henry VIII. --Strutt.
6. Intent; meaning; moral. [Obs.] Taketh the morality thereof, good men. --Chaucer.

To break it down, everything is relative. There is no absolute morality, except that perhaps the idea of killing is wrong. Outside of the confines of the game, I'd say that lying is wrong too. HOWEVER, if you've watched Survivor before, you'd know that lying is an intrinsic part of the game. Therefore, owing to the STANDARD of the game, lying is NOT immoral. Also, considering that basically every player lied at one point or another, the convention of morality within the game therefore BECOMES the fact that lying to win in Survivor, is indeed, according to the standard of conduct, therefore moral.

Apply this then to our day-to-day. Self-appointed "moral watchdog" groups from the idiot Parent's Television Council to the American Family Association cry foul on anything that THEY don't agree with. As our American culture is constituted by a variety of cultures and religions, each with different ideals, I then posit that America doesn't have a true set of morals at all, because no one agrees on the standards. One could argue that our laws are the standard, but the laws govern behavior, not belief. In fact, first among our rights is the First Amendment, which guarantees us freedom of belief. Therefore, our moral character as a country is formed initially by the tacit acknowledgement that we may have different beliefs, and therefore, different views of morality.

For example, Jenna and Heidi whined that Rob was immoral for lying. Yet, both dropped top and trou for candy. Would Rob get arrested on the street in Ohio for lying? No. Would Jenna and Heidi get arrested for getting bare-ass naked on the street in Ohio? Yep. So what's the real morality? If the girls agree that morality is defined by game and location, then isn't Rob's lying morally acceptable given the climate created by the five previous shows? You lie to win, and that's accepted. Therefore, there is no moral trespass.

Application of Principle

Let's try another case, which has been discussed by my pal Jen Contino at Comicon.com. The American Family Association, led by the Reverend Wildmon (who, in my opinion is a first-class whacko; I've mentioned him before in my column) is pitching a bitch because of money raised at the Pittsburgh Comicon. The Pitt gave money to the wonderful Make-A-Wish Foundation, which does great things for kids battling illness. The AFA, a group that doesn't run Make-A-Wish, is complaining because some of the fundraiser cash was raised by Playboy models who did signings at the Comicon. WOW folks; don't look too long at the AFA, lest their righteousness burn out your retinas.

The AFA and their ilk have bombed the Pennsylvania branch of Make-A-Wish with over 15,000 emails complaining that they took money from the Comicon. Let me point out that only 8,000 people or so actually went. The Playboy models were fully clothed. They signed magazines. Other booths were for comics, toys, anime and more. The AFA's Diane Gramley actually said to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, '"How can families trust an organization that readily accepts money that has been gleaned from a porn-laden event?"

Doesn't that seem like an EXTREME case of moral judgment to you? On one hand, you have hot women who get naked for money, but help donate said money to help sick little kids. On the other hand, you have a group that regularly protests anything they don't like attacking the foundation that helps sick little kids instead of offering their own alternatives or money. What seems like the moral thing to you? Even conceding that displayed nudity is a problem for some Americans, it takes us back to the thought that it IS NOT a problem for others. Did I mention that the AFA defended Rick Santorum, and alleges that 70% of all porn falls into children's hands without offering proof? Again, there is not a consensus on morality.

What It Means to You

So, you may wonder how TV and Comicons actually affect you. Well, if you aren't a fan of either, I guess they don't. However, the whole moral issue raises its head in the country over and over. As long as there is freedom of religion and press and speech in America, there will never be a moral consensus. That's the way that it should be. All of our laws are compromises, and all of our laws are mutable. The Constitution itself, a brilliant invention, is left open to change.

I guess my column is a cautionary one. Don't assume that everyone has the same morals as you. Don't let a group or a politician tell you what is right or moral. Listen to your head, your heart, and your gut. In this age of paranoia and swiftly made laws and deteriorating freedoms, it's best to speak now and remind others that there are other opinions. You may get shouted down, and you may have to compromise; that's true. However, you don't ever have to let someone else tell you what to think, what to do, and what is or isn't moral for yourself and your children. That's also true, and, if I may say so, self-evident.

Troy Brownfield is the Editor-in-Chief of Shotgun Reviews. Email Troy at psikotyk@aol.com

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