By Troy Brownfield

Hello to everyone on this most Hallmark of holidays! I love holidays that begin in death and martyrdom that are then demarked annually by the exchange of cards. In fact, I think most holidays have their roots in death and/or martyrdom. Regardless, I'll throw my wife a Happy Valentine's Day and be thankful that I wasn't in Chicago about 60 years ago.
On with it . . .

Oscar the Grouch: Nominations for the Academy Awards came out this past week. Sadly, "Mulholland Drive" didn't grab a Best Picture nod, but director David Lynch did pick up an individual nomination. "Lord of the Rings" was recognized a whopping 13 times. I've already got it in the works to see if I can get the French judge to vote for Lynch in exchange for the Bulgarian judge to vote for "LOTR" for Best Picture.

Terrorism Alert!: I just wanted to remind you that something planned by someone could happen somewhere at sometime as early as today. There is no concrete proof that something planned by someone could happen somewhere at sometime as early as today, but we'll continue to suggest that something planned by someone could happen somewhere at sometime as early as today. It won't help, it will only make you paranoid, it will only reinforce our national feelings of unease, but hey, if something planned by someone could happen somewhere at sometime as early as today, at least we'll feel good that we warned you.

American Taliban, Stay Away from Me-he: Okay, let me make sure that I have this ongoing story straight. So the American armed forces capture an American guy with the Taliban. He's dressed like them, living like them, armed like them, and in the same place where they were fighting Americans. And he says that he's not really doing anything against America. He's got about as much chance of the American people believing him as a black man does of finishing a drive through all the rich white neighborhoods in Cincinnati at 3 a.m.

The Olympics: Judging controversies aside, the Winter Olympics are often the source of some offbeat fun. Several events are just insane by typical standards (curling? Skeleton?), and it's cool to see them on prime-time American television. It makes me feel like I could come up with own cold-weather event and see it on TV in 2006. Personally, I think a ski lodge version of the Shotgun's original sport, "Oswald", would be hilarious.

However, it does bother me when an athlete does particularly well, and a reporter asks, "How special are these Olympics for you?" Frankly, that only makes me think of the other Special Olympics, and I really don't think that's their intention.

Rock? Really?: Have you noticed that actual rock bands are returning to the airwaves? Even stygian Indianapolis radio is playing Remy Zero, Jimmy Eat World, and The Strokes on various stations. Also, even liter-rock bands (or bands I don't like) like The Calling, Default, Nickelback, Linkin Park, Puddle of Mudd, and P.O.D. are getting much more play. Perhaps our long national nightmare of tinny pop has drawn to a close.

Lucas DOESN'T Get Something He Wants: CNN has noted that despite Lucasfilm's original hopes to get SWE2:AOTC out on digital screens nationwide, those hopes have now faded. Why? There are only 20 functional digital screens in the U.S., versus the 2,000 that the film will actually play on. Theater owners could have upgraded, but it's a multi-million dollar proposition with no guarantee of a long-term return. I'll be damned; here's one instance where someone other than Lucas gets a say.

Just a Good Ole' Boy . . .: Country giant Waylon Jennings died yesterday. Part of the "Outlaw" movement, he's one of the guys that understood that country and western was SUPPOSED to be about drinkin' and fightin'. He was also an early rocker; in fact, he was Buddy Holly's bass player and he gave up his seat on a certain plane to The Big Bopper. That's no urban legend.

Among his classics were "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys" and the theme from "Dukes of Hazzard". He's worth noting if for no other reason that he rejected compromise and Nashville's notion of glittery shine and simpy balladry. Mortality might have got him, but the law never will . . .

SHAMELESS PLUGS: Indiana residents (and some Illinois and Ohio residents at that) can watch our boy Russ on WCWO TV, Saturday mornings at 6:30 am (okay, so tape it) on WB4.

Webmaster Shawn and his band The Shivers have a ton of shows coming up, including two this weekend. Get more at www.theshiversmusic.com.

Troy Brownfield is the Editor-in-Chief of Shotgun Reviews. The Russian judge doesn't like him, but he doesn't care. Email him at psikotyk@aol.com

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