By Troy Brownfield
01.29.02
I apologize
in advance for so much of this column being locally-based
this time out, but I'm sure you'll agree that Indy is rife
with the weird.
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"When Troy says I've made His List, is that a good
thing?"
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Jesus!:
This story is so incredibly funny to me that I almost
can't put it into words. Here's the direct link at the Indianapolis
Star: http://www.indystar.com/article.php?indybaptist29.html,news
In what has to be one of the best cases of cyber-squatting
yet, the Indiana Baptist newsletter let the rights to their
former web domain expire. A guy came along and bought the
old URL (perfectly legally, mind you) and made it into a porn
site. Frankly, I find that enormously funny.
What I don't get is how the offended parties (parties who
LET their URL lapse, mind you), are saying that it's now an
extortion case since the new URL owner won't sell it back
for less than . . . $550!
Folks, I pay for this site. Our annual hosting runs us a few
hundred bucks, and renewing your URL annually will run you
around $35. The guy's asking back what he invested, most likely.
That's especially true if he paid for more space to post pictures.
I hardly think $500 is extortion. Now $10,000; that's extortion.
But $500?
I can see how some people might be offended that their old
religious news site now traffics in full-on nudity from Armenia,
but come on. When you let a URL go, anything can happen. Let
he who is without renewal forms cast the first jpeg, I guess.
Prepare
to Fail: A few days ago in the Indy Star, the banner headline
on the front page covered the Colts new head coach, Tony Dungy.
The headline read, more or less, "Dungy's Greatest Successes
Found Off the Field". It went on to say he was a great guy,
and so forth.
Maybe
it's just me, but when your new coach is heralded by an announcement
of how swell of a guy he is, that means that the team is going
to keep losing. It's tantamount to the age-old, "Well, she
has a great personality" routine. I mean sure, it'd be great
if the coach is a nice guy. Indiana has a historical problem
with asshole coaches (and no, I don't count Mora in that assessment;
I was thinking more . . . academically). However, when his
arrival in town is presaged by his other good qualities, I
wouldn't get my playoff hopes too high just yet.
Meanwhile,
in the NBA: Speaking of mediocre coaching, Isiah Thomas
has been less than subtle in blaming his team for their last
few losses. While basketball does often come down to on-court
execution and team effort, a coach that has changed his mind
and line-ups as often as Thomas certainly needs to carefully
consider his words. This is a team that pushed Jordan, Pippen,
Rodman and the other Bulls to seven games just a few years
ago. They went hard at the Lakers. What's the new ingredient?
What players left, and why? What changed? Hmmmmm . . . I'm
wondering . . .
Copycat
Cousins: Call it a sure sign that Jeb Bush will someday
consider a run for the presidency. The Governor of Florida's
daughter, Noelle, 24, has been charged with "prescription
fraud". In an official statement, the Governor and his wife
noted, "Unfortunately, substance abuse is an issue confronting
many families across our nation." It would have also been
accurate for them to say, "Aside from being the president,
my brother and his daughters are bad influences."
K-Mart
Sucks: How prophetic was Rain Man! K-Mart's filed for
bankruptcy, and Toys R Us is in major trouble. I could have
told you that TRU was headed for a bad spell. They hired a
guy from FAO Schwartz, who has tried to make over the stores
to look like the poorly designed FAO Schwartz, and who has
subsequently run the business into the dirt just like (anyone?
Anyone?) FAO Schwartz. Having worked for TRU a decade ago,
it's no secret that they are really only profitable during
the final quarter of the year when Christmas propels their
sales. However, you really aren't supposed to bleed 100 million
bucks while you do it.
As for
K-Mart, I'm really not sure what to say. The butt of jokes
for years, they've finally begun to sink under the weight
of Wal-Mart, Target and others. If you're quiet, and you listen
really carefully, you might hear small children sewing the
name "Gifford" into offensive sweaters quietly cheering.
You
Should STILL Watch It: After I've talked about how cool
the ABC series "Alias" is for months (even naming it Best
New Show in our Year-Ender), the rest of the world seems to
be catching up. It got Best New Series at the People's Choice
Awards (a rare good decision), a Golden Globe for Jennifer
Garner, and cover features on Esquire, Rolling Stone, and
the new TV Guide. Don't let this late season media blitz put
you off. This is one of those shows that is deserving of attention.
Meticulously plotted, incredibly shot, and brilliantly acted,
it's the coolest new network show in years.
That's
it for the moment, kids. Keep an eye on the rest of the site
for a bunch of new stuff coming soon, including new installments
of our online comics!
Troy
Brownfield is the Editor-in-Chief of Shotgun Reviews. Yes
folks, Jennifer Garner has officially made "the list". Email
Troy at psikotyk@aol.com
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