By Troy Brownfield

The More Things Stay The Same...The More They, well...

I watch the political scene with growing interest. Though not as fast-growing as the interest will be on the bills that future generations are going to have to pay for the stuff our current presidential administration is doing. Take the Iraq situation (please! har har) with its swelling 80 billion dollar price tag. Toss in the 5 billion that's about to be propositioned for the newly announced Moon and Mars program. Tack on THAT the 1.8 billion that they're about to blow on a "drive for the promotion of marriage", including a possible attempt at a Constitutional Amendment to outlaw gay unions. That's 86.8 billion dollars that's been committed outside of regular government concerns.

Remember of course that President Bush entered office with a surplus that's been as quickly forgotten as Baltimora's second single. That extra money is loooong gone. Also consider that the "tax cut" will now result in the American people paying more money down the road. Watch Bush claim in the upcoming election race that the Democrats will raise your taxes. They'll HAVE to in order to pay for everything that he's done!

I still fail to see how some middle-class people can defend the "tax cut" so strenuously. They got screwed. They get maybe a few extra hundred back, yet they pay proportionally MORE than a person making over $100,000,000 a year. Tell me how that makes sense.

This "marriage promotion" is equally ludicrous. What, are there gonna be billboards asking "Got Marriage?" Apparently, it's to further communication between spouses to build healthy marriages. Let's face it: if you don't talk to your spouse, government money isn't going to fix it. The whole thing is also a sneaky smokescreen to get more anti-gay legislation through. I ask again: aside from being condemned in Leviticus, what did homosexuals ever do to the Right Wing aside from dressing fabulously, dancing, and having the kind of sex that they enjoy? Wait a second...think I just answered my own question.

Anyway, Paul O'Neill's new book (not "How To Play Right Field"; the other one) shows pretty handily that Bush really has no idea what to do with the money. It's shows that the idea to overthrow Iraq existed before 9-11. It shows that there were official documents discussing how Iraq's oil would be divided among conqueror nations. And it vaguely makes us recall that Bush SWORE in debates with Gore that his presidency would NOT be about "nation-building" (that is, taking a smaller country, demolishing it, and rebuilding it while our troops die on a daily basis).

So, as the State of the Union looms large, I just ask you to listen to some of the points and sincerely question whether or not what they're doing actually directly benefits you, or whether the benefits, and their cost, are leveled for people you don't know, or have yet been born.

I'm A Survivor: On a cheerier topic, the line-ups for All-Star Survivor were announced this week. Strangely, they're the same line-ups that Aint It Cool News had posted over two months ago. Funny. My early money is on Schemer Rob from the Amazon installment. If he teams up early on with tribemate "Boston Rob", who has more physical prowess but a clear love of the mental game, they could be a considerable force. Then again, no one should count out Rupert. I will say this: the smartest move would be to gang-tackle Richard Hatch and vote his naked ass off first; he's too smart to keep in. And just so I don't let loyal readers down: "All-Star Survivor?! Why not get the original Journey line-up back together? Or Chicago, at the very least."

Blackwell the Magician: For those who care, Paris Hilton is the worst dressed. She also answers the phone during sex. Sure, competing news networks give you different points of view, but they also give you lots of useless crap.

It's Over!: Frasier finally announced the it would end its run. Friends is actually ending too. You know what the real ratings bonanza would be, folks... MUST SEE THUNDERDOME!!!! ONE CAST ENTERS, ONE CAST LEAVES!!!! "Who run Bartertown?" "Chandler Bing runs Bartertown!" Anyway, at least we can all look forward to the debut and quick cancellation of Joey.

Twenty, Twenty, Twenty-Four Hours to Go-oh-oh: Naysayers be damned. 24 continues to kick ass. After completely fooling die-hards and whiners alike with the fake "Virus is out!" and mole scenarios, the show brings back psycho-bitch Nina, who's ready to impale herself on Jack to prove that he's really bad (which of course, he isn't), and scheming Sherry Palmer. All that, plus a bullet through the hand for Chase Edmunds, and a whole shitload of shots to the head (I counted six), including another possible Bauer romantic interest. That guy goes through chicks like Bluebeard. My guess is that the Mexico segment wraps in a couple of weeks before thrusting the plot into an entirely new direction for the remainder of the "day". Incidentally, super bonus points for the acquisition of Gina Torres, genre TV staple who has excelled as Anna Espinosa on Alias, evil goddess Jasmine on Angel, and everybody's favorite first officer on Firefly. Obviously, the 24 fellas are Buffy fans, considering they also brought in D.B. Woodside this year.

Incidentally, the Alias bit makes me think that J.J. Abrams REALLY likes David Lynch; aside from some obvious tips of the hat (like the Cronenberg character), he's just brought in the former Mrs. Lynch (and star of Blue Velvet and Wild at Heart) Isabella Rossalini to play Sydney's evil aunt, Irina's former KGB agent sister. NICE.

Another Buffy-related bit: Rumors continue to swirl that Joss Whedon will be writing New X-Men for Marvel. I'm sure he would do a fine job, since he's essentially been doing comics on TV for years. Hell, the man readily admits that he always envisioned Buffy, Xander, Giles and Willow as his own Fantastic Four. Hmmm...does that make Buffy equate to The Thing? Obviously, Giles is Reed Richards, Willow would equate to Sue (mousy wallflower evolves into powerful ass-kicker), Xander as Johnny...yeah, I guess SMG would be The Thing. Minus the orange dork. (If you wanted to get into heavy, heavy refrencing, try equating the core four to Willingham's The Elementals; that works too.)

There. Aren't you glad I got through a column without referencing Britney Spears or the fact that her new video features her bare-ass naked except for some strategically glued diamonds? I knew you were.

Troy Brownfield is the Editor-in-Chief of Shotgun Reviews. Email Troy at psikotyk@aol.com

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