By Russ Ray

Q1: Is wrestling fake?

A1: Yes. Absolutely. Indubitably. Wrestling is based off the complications of a bad guy (a "heel") doing something mean to a good guy (a "face") which causes them to have some sort of feud that climaxes at a pay-per-view or other important live event where the issue is settled... sometimes. The wresters don't usually dislike each other off-camera, but on-camera, they act like they hate each others' guts. There are two major "fake" aspects to the wrestling business: "taking bumps" and "booking".

Wrestlers are trained to attack each other and perform devastating wrestling maneuvers while minimizing the risk of injury to themselves and the other performer. Knowing how to get hit, making it look like it hurts and living to fight again another day is what taking bumps is all about. It is the responsibility of the wrestler that is being attacked to "sell" the move. This means to make it look like it hurts. For example, if a wrestler gets punched in the stomach, the attacker will pull the punch so it is a slight, glancing blow. However, the wrestler that is getting hit has to react to it as if he really had been punched hard in the gut.

Backstage, it is booking that determines plotlines, who fights who and what occurs on camera. A booker tells the wrestlers and the referee who will win before the match starts, how long it should take and what the finish should be. In between, it is up to the wrestlers themselves to determine how action is carried out in the ring. They may either script out the matches and practice them ahead of time, however, most wrestlers prefer to "call spots". This means they will tell each other what their next move will be and they just string a bunch of moves together in the ring. The referee allows it all to keep going until they get a signal to wind the match up, either from the timekeeper at ringside or directly from backstage (if the ref is wearing a wire). He then tells the wrestlers that they have about a minute or two left and they need to go for the preplanned finish.   

Q2: What shows should I watch?

A2: There are two main wrestling promotions in the U.S.: the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) and World Championship Wrestling (WCW). Both companies hold their primary television programs on Monday night (see also "Monday Night Wars" below) and also have other programs on cable and in syndication that are considered supplementary. Which one you watch is purely a matter of taste.

The WWF focuses on a teenage and young adult audience, therefore, it's plotlines and angles are very adult-oriented. This is the company that trots out such characters as a pimp, a former porn star, a foul-mouthed Texan who often flies the bird without a license and a couple of guys that yell "Suck It!" and point at their crotches. There is also a lot of violence and blood is spilled from time to time. This is also the company of controversy, as Vince McMahon has had to deal with about 5 lawsuits in the past 10 years. It's the company that used to employ the late Owen Hart, as well as Rena Mero (Sable). Overall, if you can handle some of the themes and language, it is very exciting to watch and very plot-driven.

WCW strives to be more family-oriented than the WWF. It is a lot tamer as far as sex, violence and language are concerned. It is also home to many of the great wrestlers of the 1980's, such as Hulk Hogan, "Nature Boy" Ric Flair, "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Rowdy Roddy Piper. They have an automatic benefit of name brands that are tried and true that they can put before the public. WCW also has a lot of young, athletic, talented stars, as well as a group of wrestlers from Mexico who are very acrobatic and really put a lot into their matches with some of the maneuvers they perform. However, what WCW has in talent, they lack in storyline and booking. Often, only one or two feuds are dealt with within a three-hour show, the rest of which is composed of so-so matches and a lot of old men screaming at each other.

Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW) is an independent promotion that continues to exist despite having talent raided from it and ideas stolen from it by the WWF and WCW. ECW has a brand of ultra-violent "hardcore" wrestling that involves the wrestlers hitting each other a lot with ringside weapons. Fans sometimes even bring weapons for their favorite wrestler to hit a guy with. ECW suffers from a lack of exposure, as many stations are reluctant to carry it's weekly one-hour show because of the graphic violence and constant profanity. It also only tours in the northeast (especially Pennsylvania and New York) as well as tours in Florida and the south. However, their fan base is perhaps one of the most devoted ever in wrestling. ECW also always seems to be on the verge of bankruptcy, but has made some recent business deals that may make them competitive with the WWF and WCW very soon.

If you can get videotapes of them, Japanese wrestling and Mexican "lucha libre" wrestling is also very good. They feature a lot of superheroic wrestlers (many of them wearing masks and capes) as well as a lot of high-flying, acrobatic stunts. Popular Japanese organizations are New Japan Pro Wrestling (NJPW) and All-Japan Pro Wrestling (AJPW). The main organization in Mexico is AAA. If you are interested in the "hardcore" style and don't have ECW in your area, you can order tapes of some of their matches and pay-per-views on tape too.   

Q3: What are the "Monday Night Wars"?

A3: In 1995, the mainstay of WWF programming was still their syndicated programs, many of which were repeated in some form or another on their cable outlet USA Networks. Their ratings on USA were declining and their programs were threatened with cancellation. The WWF pulled the plug on their remaining programs and focused their attention on a one-hour live show on Monday nights called "Monday Night Raw". It was broadcast live from the small Manhattan Theater in New York City and enjoyed some success for about a year, then started to lose ratings again when they slowed their schedule down to run live one night per month and tape the other three or four shows.

Meanwhile, at WCW, Eric Bischoff was given the go-ahead in 1996 from Ted Turner himself (Turner Corporation, and now Time-Warner, owns WCW) to produce a one-hour wrestling program of their own on TNT. Bischoff, being an egomaniac (see "Hulk Hogan" below), decided to air it opposite Monday Night Raw on USA. He hoped to destroy his competition and dance on its grave, just for his own personal satisfaction and to cover up the fact that he practically ran the American Wrestling Association (AWA) into the ground. He even copped part of the WWF's name with WCW Monday Nitro (like the "Night Raw" part). Nitro debuted at the Mall of America in Minneapolis, and during the next summer was held at Universal Studios in Florida. Nitro was an immediate ratings success, but not wanting to stop there, Bischoff thought he could shove the WWF into the grave. He did something most people thought was about as low as you could get. He gave out the results of the taped matches on Raw, thinking he would spoil the surprise for the fans that were watching both programs. What he actually did was piss a lot of people off, but the ratings proved that WCW and Nitro were number one in wrestling...for 88 weeks.

Then, in May 1998, after people got tired of 10 NWO guys (see "Hulk Hogan" below) beating up on one good guy at the end of the show for the 40th straight week, fans started to pay less attention to Nitro and more attention to Raw (redubbed "Raw Is War" and the "Warzone", complete with enough pyrotechnics to set a small arena ablaze). The WWF was edgier and more dangerous. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was the WWF's point man and people loved him. Finally, the WWF started to win the ratings race against WCW. The WWF remains in the lead to this day and Nitro's rating sinks lower and lower each week. Even with a redesigned set of their own, they have been unable to lure back fans.

What do the ratings wars mean to you? Well, not much, except they have tried to top each other each week trying to get viewers. This usually means you get to see better matches and matches that were ordinarily reserved for pay-per-views shown for free on television. To the companies, it is definitely a big ego trip, but it also controls the amount of advertising revenue they get, as well as how much they can charge per 30-second spot. To the "Big 2", it comes down to the almighty dollar and how much of yours and mine they can get hold of.      

Q4: Weren't you once Doink the Clown?

A4: No, but there have been plenty of other people who have been Doink the Clown. Fortunately, I was not one of them. I haven't been right with clowns since I saw Stephen King's It when it was on TV. That, and I would never have worked with a midget in a clown costume. I probably would have kicked his ass immediately.      

Q5: What does "Austin 3:16" mean?

A5: It means, "I just whipped your ass." It comes from a speech that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin made after he won the 1996 WWF King of the Ring tournament and refers to the religious devotion of Jake "The Snake" Roberts, who Austin beat in the finals. Austin said, "You come out here with your John 3:16 and all kinds of crap like that. Well, Austin 3:16 says, 'I just whipped your ass.'" It was actually an off-hand comment Austin made to get himself over with the fans. The slogan caught on, they put it on T-shirts, and now "Austin 3:16" is a marketing phenomenon. Industry ratings estimate that a piece of Stone Cold merchandise is sold somewhere in the world every 40 seconds.    

Q6: Weren't you once the Yellow Dog?

A6: No, because I am neither Brian Pillman nor Barry Windham and was never banned from the NWA (the National Wrestling Alliance, not the rap group, Brainiac). I wasn't the Black Scorpion either, so don't ask.  

Q7: Wasn't Hulk Hogan a good guy?

A7: First off, Hulk Hogan has NEVER been a good guy, at least outside the ring. From the moment he was thrust into the spotlight, he became one of the biggest egomaniacs walking God's green earth. He refused to lose to anyone unless it was done to make him look good later, didn't know an armbar from a artichoke, and seems to be more preoccupied with any of his careers outside the ring to ever grace anyone with his presence in the ring. He's pretty much the same guy today, except for that goofy black beard of his and his inability to let Jesse Ventura one-up him with this stupid plan to become president in 2000.

However, on television for about 12 years, Hogan told WWF fans to follow the Four Demandments: train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins and believe in yourself. Sounds good on paper. Hogan was the unbreakable good guy. In June 1994, he left the WWF for good and turned up in WCW soon after. This began the infamous talent drive by WCW to get all of the WWF's popular stars from the 1980's: Randy Savage, Roddy Piper, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Greg Valentine, Brutus Beefcake, and even long-time WWF commentators "Mean" Gene Okerlund and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. However, his long-time nemesis Jesse "The Body" Ventura left the commentator's booth and WCW when Hogan arrived, as Ventura has always had a tremendous dislike for the man.

Fans liked the guy at first, but probably only because they thought they HAD to like Hogan. Bischoff jammed Hogan down the collective fans' throats. They ruined Ric Flair's reputation by dressing him up in women's clothing after a Hogan win and forcing Flair to retire early, only to return 2 months later. After a couple of months, the booking was out of hand, the honeymoon was over and Hogan had an unexpected effect on WCW fans. They hated him. They booed him out of arenas. Long-time WCW and NWA fans knew "The Man" was Ric Flair and Hogan always came up second-best in their eyes no matter how times he showed the fans his World Championship belt or smiled at a young fan or tried some goody-goody ploy to get over with the fans. Eric Bischoff, president of WCW, knew he had to do something with Hogan's image or his plan to build the company around Hogan would fail.

Hogan took some time off in 1996, just as Bischoff signed Kevin Nash (Diesel) and Scott Hall (Razor Ramon) from the WWF. Both had previously wrestled in WCW but were made into superstars in the WWF. They ran a "Hostile Takeover" angle, whereby Scott Hall and some of his partners were invading WCW to take control of it and deliver it back to the WWF (although the WWF was never explicitly mentioned). At the Great American Bash that year, Kevin Nash was revealed to be the second man in the takeover scheme, when he powerbombed Bischoff off of a platform. A six-man tag team match was set for the main event at Bash at the Beach between Sting, Lex Luger and Randy Savage against Hall, Nash and their third member.

Behind the scenes, Bischoff was trying to get Bret Hart to jump ship as well to become the third man. He had just lost the WWF title to Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania XII, was no longer the Number One man in the company, and was at the end of his contract, so he was contemplating some sort of career move or possibly retirement. However, Hart resisted the big bucks and signed an unprecedented 20-year deal with the WWF (see "Screwjob in Montreal" below). Bischoff had to scramble to find his third man with the pay-per-view getting closer.

The match began as a two-on-three tag team match, with the Outsiders being handicapped, until Hulk Hogan showed up. Everybody cheered, thinking their hero was coming to help. Instead, he attacked all three good guys and aligned himself with Hall and Nash. The next night on Nitro he proclaimed to be a part of the New World Order (NWO) of wrestling, told the fans they could stick it, and recruited many more former WWF superstars such as Syxx (The 1-2-3 Kid in the WWF), Ted Dibiase (The Million Dollar Man), Vincent (Virgil), Big Bubba Rogers (Big Bossman), The Disciple (Brutus Beefcake), V.K. Wallstreet (Irwin R. Schyster), Bryan Adams (Crush) and eventually even Bret "Hit Man" Hart. They also recruited many of the WCW stars at various stages of its existence like The Giant (Paul Wight), Randy Savage, Marcus Bagwell, Scott Steiner, Lex Luger, Sting, Great Muta and Masahiro Chono.

As a side note, the WWF had ran spots in early 1996 (while Hall and Nash were still working for them) that were derogatory towards Ted Turner, Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage. They were known as the "Billionaire Ted" spots. WCW used the NWO as a sort of counterattack of their own against the WWF. The names "Vincent" and "V.K." were directed right at Vince McMahon, while Ted Dibiase was referred to as "Billionaire Ted". The WWF stopped running the promos shortly before Scott Hall showed up on WCW television.    

Q8: Weren't you once the Black Scorpion?

A8: Can't you fucking read? I said NO!!!! Sheesh...   

Q9: Is Goldberg a rip-off of Steve Austin?

A9: WCW was actually looking for a character like Ken Shamrock when they were developing Bill Goldberg's character. They wanted a UFC, shoot-fighting type of wrestler. Goldberg shaved his head long before he showed up in WCW and his outfit only resembles Austin's out of coincidence. It should be noted, however, that a story that Stone Cold likes to tell is of the conversation he had with Eric Bischoff when he was fired from WCW. Bischoff told Austin that he could never market a guy with a shaved head, black trunks and black boots who simply went out to the ring to do his job. Apparently, Vince McMahon could, because Austin's star shot way up after a year in the WWF. And, I guess Eric Bischoff could too, otherwise, who knows will Bill Goldberg would be doing nowadays.    

Q10: Weren't you once Max Moon?

A10: If you must know, I had a short-lived career as the little-known Conquistador III. I also once had a tryout to be the Ultimate Warrior, but I was told that I didn't take enough steroids and had too much talent. However, I did get high marks for my ability to snort.    

Q11: Isn't the Ultimate Warrior dead?

A11: I'd like to know who started this rumor, because I would probably give them The Great Equalizer (see "The Great Equalizer" below). There has only been one Warrior, and that man's name is Jim Hellwig. He never died and was never replaced by Kerry Von Erich (although the two men were good friends). Anyway, Von Erich is dead now and so is the Warrior's career after a failed comeback in WCW last year.   

Q12: What is the "Screwjob in Montreal"?

A12: First off, a "screwjob" is an industry term in which a wrestler interferes with another wrestler's match to get him to lose. And Montreal, well, you'll just have to go out and get a road atlas if you want to know where that is. I recommend you watch the documentary "Hitman Hart: Wrestling With Shadows" for the entire story. It is a great behind-the-scenes look at wrestling and the months leading up to this incident. It runs on A&E from time-to-time and is soon to be available for rent, if it isn't already.

The short form of the story is that Bret Hart signed a 20-year deal with the WWF in 1996. He was supposed to wrestle for a few more years and then retire to a front-office job. He returned to the WWF that November to wrestle "Stone Cold" Steve Austin at the Survivor Series. Their feud culminated at Wrestlemania XIII the next year when fans started to boo Hart (who had been the face) and cheer for Austin (who had been the heel). Hart ended up winning the match and was booed away by the crowd. Austin was supposed to go out later and interfere in the WWF Championship match, however, based on the earlier crowd reaction, Bret Hart was sent out to interfere instead.

The next night on Raw, he told the American fans to kiss his ass. He ran an angle where he reformed the Hart Foundation with his brother Owen, brothers-in-law Davey Boy Smith and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart and "The Loose Cannon" Brian Pillman, acted heelish at American arenas while being cheered as a face in Canadian arenas and then eventually won the WWF Title at SummerSlam in August. However, Vince McMahon decided that the 20-year deal he made with Bret the year before was not beneficial to the company and tried to get Bret to go along with dropping the contract, along with his title.

Bret eventually got a deal worked out with WCW to start in December, and he was to lose the title to Shawn Michaels at the Survivor Series in Montreal. Hart didn't want to lose his last WWF match in his native Canada, and he certainly didn't want to lose to Michaels. He was especially vocal against Michaels' Playgirl photo spread and they had other backstage run-ins in the past. He also criticized the sexual and profane turn the WWF was taking as far as its content. He was assured by Vince McMahon and Earl Hebner, the referee, that Bret would keep the title that night and forfeit it to McMahon the next night on Raw. However, the match didn't quite finish that way.

At the end of the match, Michaels put Hart into Bret's trademark submission move, The Sharpshooter. Hebner signaled to ring the bell and end the match, even though Hart did not signal that he had given up. Michaels was declared champion and high-tailed it from ringside, as an angry Hit Man went outside the ring to throw chairs and television monitors, turn over announcing tables and scream that he had been screwed. His tirade took place just after the pay-per-view went off the air, but they recorded it anyway. He then went backstage looking for Vince McMahon. Although it was never confirmed, Hart supposedly punched McMahon in the head so hard that Vince was knocked unconscious and the Hit Man broke his hand.

The next night on Raw, a Bret Hart smear campaign started. The new champion had a midget dressed as Bret Hart show up at ringside, only to have a sign taped to his rear end and sent running backstage. The sign said "Atlanta or Bust" (Atlanta is the home office for WCW). Jim Ross, the main WWF announcer, interviewed McMahon in a semi-serious setting. McMahon claimed that he "had not screwed Bret. Bret screwed Bret." They also ran footage of Hart's tirade and tried to make him look like a sore loser.

In the aftermath, Hart's hand was broken and was not able to appear in WCW as soon as he thought. He did, however, officiate a match between Larry Zbysko and Eric Bischoff for control of WCW Monday Nitro and began wrestling soon after. Davey Boy Smith and Jim Neidhart followed Bret down south, while Owen was stuck in his WWF contract and was never able to enjoy the success he previously had.

The feud was thought to be over with, however, with the untimely death of Owen Hart in Kansas City about 2 months ago, old wounds have been reopened and ripped wider, as the Hart family and the WWF are set to settle their differences in court.    

Q13: What's "The Great Equalizer"?

A13: "The Great Equalizer" is a TV announcer's term for a shot to an opponent's groin. I don't know why they call it that. It seems to me that if you kick somebody in the nuts, you've got the upper hand, but I guess it can turn things around if you've been beat on for about 10 minutes.      

Q14a: What are puppies?

A14a: Puppies are the offspring of the domesticated dog.

Q14b: I knew that! I meant when Jerry "The King" Lawler says it, what does it mean?

A14b: He's referring to the breasts of Debra McMichael. Whenever she (or any other beatiful woman) shows up at ringside, Lawler practically drools and dotes on her. The man used to be so cool and is now reduced to a dirty old man at ringside. Lawler has questionable tastes in women anyway, and he once was arrested for suspicion of statutory rape. However, he was found innocent of the charges when the girl's story was deemed to be not credible.    

Q15: Why do you like wrestling?

A15: I got two reasons. Number one, it's melodrama at its finest. The best matches are ones where you forget that it is fake and just lose yourself in the match. Very rarely does that happen, so when the story on-screen is not enough, that's when I turn to the gossip and rumor pages to hear about what goes on backstage. The politics and booking intrigue me a lot too, because it's always fun to second-guess the promoter.

Number two, these guys work their asses off in the ring and sacrifice their bodies to entertain people night after night. The moves that some of them perform look so great on TV that you can't believe anyone surviving that, whether it be the attacker or the attackee. Plus, a guy with good skills on the microphone often is fun to watch and listen.    

Q16: Are you really an asshole?

A16: No, I just know the value of a good heel in today's society.

Return to the Rasslin' Ring

shotgun reviews | the big question | review rack | feature forum | rasslin' ring | comics convention | shotgun press | contact | links home | masthead | sponsors | email: psikotyk@aol.com © 2001 Shotgun Reviews - All rights reserved.