Cradle 2 the Grave
Directed by: Andrzej
Bartkowiak
Starring: Jet
Li, DMX, Marc Dacascos, Kelly Hu, Gabrielle Union
Review by : Matt McConnel
| Rating: |
  but
see it anyway |
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Please
do not go into this movie expecting something that it is not.
It is a Jet Li/DMX vehicle. It does boast an impressive and
highly talented cast including such personal favorites as
Anthony Anderson, Tom Arnold, the stunning Gabrielle Union,
and the ever dashing Marc Dacascos. For all the talent and
prettiness that has been packed in, the movie really is nothing
more than big explosions, action, stunts, and of course, the
fight scenes. If I may shamelessly quote another review: It
is "…unapologetic and clearly labeled as such."
DMX is
the leader of a group of thieves who spectacularly plunder
a diamond exchange. They have been contracted to by a shady
individual who has promised them everything they can carry
save for one pouch of black diamonds. When the heist is foiled
midway, by Jet Li's tip off to the authorities, the gang leaves
with two bags of loot. They split up, and Jet Li snags the
bag without the black diamonds. When DMX gives the diamonds
to a fence, Tom Arnold to sell, Tom gets shook down by members
of the local crime lord's outfit, and they take the stones.
Now the original owner of the stones, Dacascos, wants his
loot back, and kidnaps the daughter of the man who stole the
diamonds in the first place. Jet Li and DMX team up to save
the daughter and get back the stones that hold a deadly secret.
So what if they have to go to a pit fight, engage in high
speed chases on ATVs, creatively plunder strip clubs, and
cause grievous property damage in the process. Isn't that
what the charge for admission is for?
The plot
is weak, and there are holes big enough to jump both Arnold
and Anderson through. For example how does a former stripper
turned high tech burglar manage to hold her own, let alone
beat, a woman who has previously demonstrated a, albeit Hollywood,
proficiency for the martial arts. Some plot contrivances work
however, like the fact that while the gang is gun free, the
guy who has been asking to use firearms, and is the tech man,
turns out to be the one who is a dead shot with the sniper
rifle. The idea is not to make the audience believe anything
serious here though, it is to let them escape, and the writers
have certainly provided the means to do so.
The fight
scenes are well choreographed, though not as fantastic as
one might have hoped. The cadge match with several real life
Ultimate Fighting contestants does get rather interesting
however. The cast is well chosen and fit the roles well: Tom
Arnold plays, well, Tom Arnold; Anderson similarly is his
usual funny self, though thankfully the writers saw fit to
give this incarnation more intelligence; DMX is sufficiently
brooding; Jet Li is as always kicking more ass than you; Union
is a knockout; and Dacascos, while nicely menacing, still
can't quite seem to shake that French edge to his voice. Even
in Chinese. [Editor's Note: Which is odd, since he's from
Hawaii.]
For my
money, the real treats were seeing Dacascos and Li go at it,
and the Arnold/Anderson banter. The death of the final fight
though is that unlike Romeo Must Die (see same movie formula),
the scene is cut between three different fights. One is cool,
one is mandated by the story, and the last is just plain silly.
Apparently the writers just wanted to insert a random cat
fight. Arnold and Anderson do not disappoint as the plucky
comic relief and it is well worth staying through the credits
to see a wonderful sequence between the two.
The move
is shameless in its formula, and makes no apologies for it.
Where it does try to break out of the mold it fails, and even
sometimes within the mold. In the reckoning it is what is,
and makes no pretences about anything else. It is a fun movie
to just sit back and watch. Enjoy it, leave, and consider
something meatier for the next time.
Matt
is normally the anime guy, but he watches live-action stuff
too. Harass him here.
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