Massive Ford Mercury Recall
Engineers Discover Traces of Tuna

By Li Rapkin

The Ford Motor Company announced today that it would recall all 2000 and 2001 Mercuries after a quality-control engineer discovered that the vehicles were contaminated with an unsafe level of tuna fish. Government safety and environmental regulations limit contamination by tuna and other bony fish to a level of no more than four parts per billion (ppb). Several different models were found to contain over 160 ppb of the popular game fish.

A spokesman for Ford could offer no explanation for the presence of such high levels of tuna, but an internal investigation is already underway.

“We’ve been looking for similar problems in all other Ford products, and contacting industry associations to see if they’ve also encountered this kind of problem.”

So far, only one similar case has been uncovered. In November of 1999, Yoshio Kobayashi, a Vice President for Toyota operations in Juarez, Mexico, accidentally left a sushi salmon roll in a 2000 Corolla during a visit to the factory floor. Fortunately, an alert assembly-line worker was able to correct the problem before the vehicle was shipped to a dealer. Toyota has not reported any further fish-related problems with its vehicles, either in North America or overseas.

Consumer reaction to the tuna contamination has been fast and furious. Ford’s public relations department has been working overtime trying to reassure anxious consumers.

“I’ve always driven Ford products,” says Susan Kowalski, a suburban mother of three from Oak Park, Michigan who drives a brand-new 2001 Explorer. “I even voted for President Ford. But first, there was the tire problem and now this.” Her neighbor and fellow Explorer enthusiast Steven Davis concurs. “I have to ask ‘what next?’ It’s not like I don’t want to buy American, but this is ridiculous.”

Ford’s Director of Public Relations was not available for comment, but one of his assistants, after listening to consumer complaints, commented that the public should be aware that there is no proven, direct link between tuna or any other ocean-going food fish and tire failure in Ford products.

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