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THE TOUGHEST ATHLETES: OUR LIST
by The Editors of ShotgunReviews.com
In direct
response to USA Today's (somewhat laughable) listing
of the Top-Ten Toughest Athletes of All-time, the brain-trust
here at your favorite mid-American website decided to come
up with a more realistic line-up. Debate on if you must, but
we know we're right.
Disclaimer:
There's no way you can convince us that golfers or jockeys
are tough athletes, so don't even try! Though the Shaq-Attack
is as big and as bad as they come, his grumpy disposition
makes him the biggest complainer in sports! [Ed.-Troy used
the word "pussy".] Granted, he might take a
beating, but after every incident, he goes on and on about
how he's going to "get revenge." As Shawn notes, "Ridiculous".
Honorable
Mention: Goes to former Detroit Piston Isiah Thomas
(remember his broken ankle performance in the 88' play-off
series against The Lakers?), Pro-boxer, George Foreman
(today's audience sees him as a shill for grills. But as one
of the most ferocious competitors in the history of the sweet
science, Big George has had more comebacks than Prince, Madonna,
and LL Cool J put together. Word is that going to box AGAIN.
He might not be fast, but he's damn tough), Philadelphia 76er's
guard Allen Iverson, also known as the 'Human Dust
Mop' --the man's constantly on the floor--and Tennessee Titan
Steve McNair-- anyone that can lead his team to the
playoffs in back to back seasons with the variety of serious
injuries he's had is playing on a different level. McNair
just doesn't feel pain!?
And we
cannot forget, all the Guys in the NFL who make flying tackles
while wearing a cast. How do they do that?? Why do they do
that?
10.
NBA: Michael Jordan. Granted, he's retired, but has anyone
ever played at his level, even when stricken with full-blown
flu and worse?
9.
Skiing: Picabo Street. It's simple. Ski, shatter leg,
be told you might not walk again. Ignore doctors. Ski back
into medal contention. Break leg again. Repeat. This woman
astounds us.
8.
UFC: Royce Gracie. Snicker at the Karate Kid outfit at
your own risk. This Brazilian slim-shady, doesn't look like
much, but he will kick your ass for real! (Just ask Ken Shamrock)
7.
WWE: Ric Flair. Yes, the wrestler. Why? Name five men
that broke most of the bones in their body in a freakin' PLANE
CRASH that survived, overcame, and still wrestle almost 30
years later.
6.
NHL (tie) : Scott Stevens & Martin Brodeur. Brodeur: Nine
straight 30 win seasons. A career SV% of .912, and almost
16,000 total saves. And how? By getting a plastic rocket smacked
at your dome every night for 15 years. That's hard-core. And
Stevens? He is, simply, the man! nuff said.
5.
NFL: Ray Lewis. Not only double tough...but scary as hell!
4.
MLB: Cal Ripken Jr. If we equate baseball to "Survivor,"
Ripken owns your ass. Not only did he spend years outwitting
and outplaying, he outlasted everyone with an iron man streak
that will likely never be equaled.
3.
NFL: Donovan McNabb. Rush Limbaugh what? Rush Limbaugh
who? "Hi, I'm Donovan. Break my leg and I'll still stomp your
bitch ass."
2.
Cycling: Lance Armstrong. Obviously, the guy overcame
cancer, which is huge. We'd be impressed with his remarkable
endurance in the first place. Couple that with the victory
over disease, remaining on top in his perspective sport and
he's only got one ball! It must be giant!
1.
WWE: Mick Foley. Sure, people can debate the merits of
whether or not a wrestler is an "athlete". What's not up for
debate is the abuse that Foley has endured in the name of
"sports entertainment." Total this: 2/3 of an ear ripped off,
eight concussions, nose broken two times, broken jaw, dislocated
left shoulder, fractured left shoulder, fifty-four stitches
from barbed-wire, broken left thumb, five broken ribs, bruised
kidney, broken toes, torn meniscus, torn abdominal, broken
right wrist, bone chips in elbow, herniated discs, 2nd degree
burns, separated right shoulder, broken cheekbone, four front
teeth knocked out, and a total of over 350 stitches for the
career. Most men couldn't handle two of those injuries. Not
only has Mick whethered THOSE and still performed, he took
time off, slimmed down, and has returned to the ring. Foley
is GAAWWWD!
There
you have it. Remember: tough isn't just about selling seats
and T-shirts. Tough is doing your job when it sucks to even
move. So let's stop pretending someone is tough because they're
popular, and let's stop pretending someone is tough because
they say so. Tough is victory through struggle. There is nothing
else.
Contact
us here.
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