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Truth IS Stranger Than Fiction
By: Russ Ray
I received
this e-mail about a month ago, and it was one of those things
I would have ordinarily deleted with all the other spam, but
once I read it, I wondered how I ended up on the mailing list
of a foreign national and a military dictator. You're reading
this message just as I received it with CAPS LOCK SHOUTING
and everything.

From:
COL.
AHMED T. MUSTAFAH
To: russell_ray@hotmail.com
Subject: CONFIDENTIAL
Date: Fri, 27 Jul 2001 00:16:02
COL. AHMED
T. MUSTAFA (RTD)
PLOT 70 QUEENS DRIVE, S.W
IKOYI LAGOS-NIGERIA.
E-MAIL: ahmed_tanko@yahoo.co.uk
SIR,
I WISH
TO INTRODUCE MYSELF TO YOU. I AM COL. AHMED TANKO MUSTAFA
(RTD),ELDER BROTHER TO MAJOR HAMZA EL MUSTAFA WHO WAS THE
FORMER CHIEF SECURITY OFFICER TO THE MILITARY DICTATOR OF
NIGERIA, GENERAL SANI ABACHA. THE LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA
DIED UNEXPECTEDLY ON THE 8TH OF JUNE 1998. HIS COLLEAGUES
IN THE ARMY POISONED HIM IN THE PRESIDENTIAL VILLA (ASO ROCK)
BECAUSE HE RULED NIGERIA WITH AN IRON HAND.
WITH THE
DEATH OF THE DICTATOR, ELECTIONS WERE HELD IN THE COUNTRY
AND A CIVILIAN ADMINISTRATION WAS SWORN INTO POWER. WITH THE
ADVENT OF THE NEW CIVILIAN ADMINISTRATION, A DECISION WAS
TAKEN BY THE PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA TO PROBE AND PROSECUTE ALL
MILITARY OFFICERS THAT SERVED IN THE LAST MILITARY REGIME
OF THE LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA. MY BROTHER, MAJOR HAMZA EL
MUSTAFA WAS SINGLED OUT BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE DAY AS AN
ARMY OFFICER THAT MUST BE PUNISHED BECAUSE OF HIS CLOSENESS
TO THE LATE DICTATOR AND GROSS HUMAN RIGHT ABUSES ON THE CITIZENS
OF NIGERIA.
MY BROTHER
AND I WERE BEST OF FRIENDS AND HE SHARED ALL HIS SECRETS WITH
ME. THE FORMER CHIEF SECURITY OFFICER TO THE LATE HEAD OF
STATE MAJOR HAMZA AL MUSTAFA HAD PRIVATE ACCOUNTS THAT ARE
WORTH US$200,000,000.00 (TWO HUNDRED MILLION UNITED STATES
DOLLARS AROUND THE WORLD). PRESENTLY HE HAS BEEN ARRESTED
BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE DAY AND IS PRESENTLY HELD IN PRISON
ON TRUMPED UP CHARGES ON BEHALF OF THE STATE. I WAS DIRECTLY
INFORMED BY MY CONTACTS AT THE PRESIDENTIAL VILLA, THAT HE
WILL BE CONVICTED BECAUSE OF HIS POSITION AS THE FORMER CHIEF
SECURITY OFFICER TO THE LATE DICTATOR.
SHORTLY
BEFORE THE PRESENT GOVERNMENT ARRESTED MY BROTHER, HE ENTRUSTED
TO ME THE SUM OF THIRTY ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED AND TWENTY
NINE UNITED STATES DOLLARS,(US$31.529M) FOR SAFEKEEPING. THIS
AMOUNT WAS TO BE SENT TO HIS MISTRESS IN LEBANON TO LAUNDER
FOR HIM. I HAVE SINCE HAD THIS AMOUNT WITH ME STASHED AWAY
IN A PRIVATE SECURITY COMPANY IN NIGERIA. I CANNOT SEND THIS
MONEY TO MY BROTHER'S MISTRESS ANY MORE BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION
OF THINGS OVER HERE.
I NEED
YOUR ASSISTANCE IN MOVING AND SECURING THIS MONEY IN YOUR
ACCOUNT ABROAD. I WILL ADEQUATELY COMPENSATE YOU WITH 20%
OF THE TOTAL SUM FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND CO-OPERATION WITH
ME TO MOVE THIS FUND OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
THE PRESENT
ADMINISTRATION COLLECTIVELY RETIRED NINETY-TWO SERVING OFFICERS
INCLUDING MYSELF A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO. THIS MONEY IS NOT
SAFE WHERE IT IS KEPT ANY MORE BECAUSE THERE ARE INDICATIONS
THAT ALL THE RETIRED OFFICERS MIGHT HAVE THEIR ESTATE CONFISCATED
AS PART OF THE CURRENT SANITATION EXERCISE TO STOP CORRUPTION
IN THE COUNTRY. ALREADY OUR VARIOUS PRIVATE BANK ACCOUNTS
HAVE BEEN FROZEN PENDING THE OUTCOME OF THEIR INVESTIGATION
AND WE ARE BEING CLOSELY MONITORED. I INTEND TO SAFEGUARD
AND INVEST THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY ABROAD WITH A RELIABLE FOREIGN
BUSINESS PARTNER SO THAT WE CAN INVEST THE FUNDS IN REAL ESTATE
BUSINESS IN YOUR COUNTRY. THAT IS WHY I AM SOLICITING YOUR
ASSISTANCE AND COOPERATION AS REGARDS THIS BUSINESS.
ARRANGEMENTS
HAVE BEEN CONCLUDED WITH A SECURITY COMPANY THAT HAS OFFICE
IN ASIA, EUROPE AND THE UNITED STATES TO RECEIVE THE MONEY
IN CASH DEPENDING ON WHERE IS CONVENIENT FOR YOU.
PLEASE
INDICATE YOUR WILLINGNESS TO ASSIST ME BY SENDING TO ME THE
FOLLOWING AS THE BENEFICIARY INFORMATION; YOUR COMPANY'S NAME,
ADDRESS AND YOUR PRIVATE PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS SO THAT I CAN
CONTACT YOU AND COMMENCE THE TRANSACTION IN EARNEST.
I AM WAITING
TO HEAR FROM YOU VERY SOON.
BEST REGARDS,
COL. AHMED
TANKO MUSTAFA (RTD)

Needless
to say, I haven't provided the Colonel with any of that information,
but if you're stupid, errrrrr... adventurous enough to try
it, let me know what happens.

Russell
Ray is employed with an international pharmaceutical company
in Indianapolis and is the commissioner, ring announcer, and phone hotline reporter for
Wild Championship Wrestling Outlaws, a local independent wrestling organization. Send him the fan mail he richly
deserves (and the hate mail he deserves even more) to Russ316@msn.com.
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