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Madame Li’s Haiku Predictions for 2001
Madame
Li predicts
Events of 2001
For the Shotgun Crew
Troy employed
again
“Would you like fries with that, Sir”
Nightmare or day job?
Ryan Lybarger
Love disappoints him again
No Shotgun wedding
Russ versus
the Rock
Escape from Alcatraz or
Monday night TV?
Neil’s
painful lesson—
Light saber is not a toy
Now he’s Darth Lefty
Becky
traumatized
By rogue monkeys at the zoo
Or were they rogue apes?
Inevitable
Zombie Apocalypse™ claims
Chris Hauserman’s life
Oseye
voted
Most Likely to Succeed and
Forgets us losers
Brian
Albertson’s
Ass kicked in mysterious
Chinatown alley
Tragic
suicide
Spiderman movie too bad
For Kyle to cope with
Birdsong—good
haircut,
Great job, new car, hot girlfriend
The lucky bastard
Shawn
D’s worst nightmare
Return of the ex-girlfriend
Send Valium now
Ken Johnson
kidnapped
By Swedish supermodels
Never seen again
Randall
looks for Ken
Finds only Cool Whip, handcuffs
And bikini tops
John Sherman’s
brain used
In mad scientist’s project
Experiment fails
John Hueber
wakes up
In a Dumpster in Jersey
Next to Kevin Smith
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