Little Brother is Watching
The Grand Prix of San Marino Wrap-up
By Brian Stovall

Round 4
Grand Prix of San Marino
San Marino, Italy
April 15, 2001

To call the outcome of this race a “fluke” or “luck” would be insulting, not only to the driver, but also to the team that seems to be putting 100% more effort into performance than Ferrari. Team Williams has been making a progressive comeback since the introduction of their BMW engine last year. It helped Jenson Button shine during his rookie year, guaranteeing him a ride for the 2001 season, even if it wouldn’t be with BMW/Williams. Now he finds himself struggling to get off the back row and complete a race for the once thriving Team Benetton.

© 2001 Brian Stovall

This weekend it was the younger Schumacher’s turn to show the crowd that racing and victory flows through the family’s veins by leading the race from beginning to end; a trait of the elder Schumacher.

Before I go anymore into the San Marino weekend, some teams will have fresh faces for the European Grand Prix on April 29th. A shuffle occurred after Italy, which placed a test driver in a cockpit, switched another driver to a different team and left a third driver unemployed. It all started when word leaked out that Jaguar’s test driver, Pedro de la Rosa would be taking the seat of Luciano Burti next season. Somehow Team Prost must have got wind of this and made a stealthy offer to Burti, because a day later Gaston Mazzacane would be hitting the bricks and Luciano would find himself being Jean Alesi’s teammate at Prost.

This may be a form of revenge against Jaguar for a controversial decision made at the beginning of the season. It all started when de la Rosa had been testing for Prost in the off-season, after being let go from Team Arrows for crappy performance during the 2000 season. He was pretty much a shoe-in to stay with Prost throughout this year, with potential to land a ride with them in the ‘02 season. If I remember correctly, right at the beginning of February he suddenly switched to test-driving for Jaguar without offering an explanation. There was never any closure to the whole ordeal. Prost had to cope with it and it was pretty much assumed that he would be the ’02 replacement for Jaguar if Burti couldn’t show results.

Now, with four rounds behind them and Burti virtually dropping out of every race, Jaguar gave the green light for de la Rosa to race next year. On the Prost end you had Gaston Mazzacane, who came from Minardi. From what I’ve heard, he had performance clauses in his contract which aloud the team to release him if his performance sucked, and it did. I don’t think he finished a race either. All of these events aligned perfectly to give Prost the upper hand and steal Luciano Burti from Jaguar, probably leaving them a bit confused.

This was a surprise to me because I can’t really remember the last time drivers were switched around mid-season. I know when Alex Zanardi left CART as Champion and tried to come over in ’98 or ’99 and be a badass for Williams he failed miserably; and it seems like he was let go early. He definitely ran back to the States the following season to hit the sissy ovals again and kiss some serious ass! He didn’t get to do any of his boastful victory burnouts while on the F1 circuit. I was thanking God his egotistic mentality didn’t have a chance to catch on. I cringe at the thought of him winning at a place as beautiful as Spa and thinking he needed to do donuts to show the world he’s the winner. But I digress. I think he may have been the last mid-season replacement.

And so the Formula One soap opera goes on…

Practice

First off, the best thing about the Friday practice session, besides kickass Speedvision actually airing it, was the decal BMW/Williams put across the back of the rear wing on Montoya’s car. It read, “Keep Your Distance.” This is in reference to the Brazilian Grand Prix when Jos Verstappen got up the back of him while poor Juan Pablo was leading the race. The other Williams of Ralf Schumacher had suffered the same fate earlier in the race by the Ferrari of Reubens Barrichello. The review of that race goes into greater detail of those related events. Anyway, this added some humor to the circumstances that have claimed the BMW/Williams more than twice this season.

The rest of practice is highlighted with a number of slide-offs, mostly due to a rainy opening, and failures. The most noted failure was Juan Pablo Montoya in the second session. I wonder why he is having so many engine problems of the two Williams cars? It seems like his days are either right on or horribly off. Ralf’s car has been completely cooperative the whole season, aside from the accident-related retirements.

The McLarens did their best to encroach on the Ferrari times but Schumi and Reubens kept knocking them down a notch. Michael ended up with the best time of the day.

Qualifications

From leading the pack in the Friday practice to posting the fastest times in the Saturday morning practice, the Ferraris came out in full force again, upping their times whenever somebody posted better. There were a large number of spinouts mainly due to the early morning downpour.

© 2001 Brian Stovall

When qualifications came around the scenario would change, though. Things were going the way of Ferrari with Michael on pole until Mika Hakkinen busted out the quickest time. Schumi left the pits to reclaim the top starting spot with just a few minutes remaining but his car left the track for a second while on his hot lap. This seemed to have thrown his rhythm way off because he could never really get it back together after the incident. Meanwhile, Coulthard decided he liked the view better whenever he started from first, and that’s just what he would set himself up to do, taking the fastest time of the day and a new track record. While Michael was still trying to gather himself and get out of third his brother, Ralf, qualified faster, knocking him into fourth. And right before the session ended Jarno Trulli would put his Jordan/Honda into 5th place on the starting grid. All of this action moved Reubens Barrichello into 6th for the start of the race.

Other items I want to cover quickly are Kimi Raikkonen and Jenson Button. This race ends Raikkonen’s four-race probation that came with the green light for his super-license. Since he had been granted one so early in his career, the FIA governing body had automatically placed him under the probation, which gave them the right to pull the license if he had any performance issues (I don’t know, like running up the back of people every race!). Then there’s poor Jenson Button; last year’s young rookie. He qualified into the last row, the worst start of his career if my mind serves me correctly. It’s that damn car. I know I’ve talked about this in the past two articles, but that Benetton/Renault is a piece of crap. Like I’ve also said, he absolutely sparkled last year in his BMW/Williams ride. He was someone I heavily rooted for. (I’m currently using him for my season on the EA Sports “F1 2000” game. And there hasn’t been an F1 simulator this badass since the original “Formula One” game for PSX in ’96. Good luck finding either of them.)

To wrap qualifications up, you’ve got a McLaren front row as in the olden days (of a year ago), and Coulthard coming off his victory in Brazil, which also could’ve belonged to Williams had it not been for Verstappen. And in the second row, you’ve got the front row from the last race, the Schumacher brothers. The 5th and 6th spots belong to Jarno Trulli and Reubens Barrichello.

Race Day

San Marino is a pretty long circuit, being a distance of just over three miles. Long lap times are pretty much expected. Nothing, though, is quite as long as Hockenheim, which takes place a little after the halfway mark in the season. It’s a very high-speed race, with little downforce on the cars. San Marino, on the other hand, is a track full of chicanes, added in the mid-‘90s to slow the speed of the cars after three accidents in one weekend in 1994, two of which were fatal. Ayrton Senna was killed when his car hit a wall going into a turn. I remember the footage of him going hard sideways into the wall and it didn’t look that severe. He died as the paramedics were trying to help him. Formula1.com had a very emotional article on the situation right before this race, and I wanted to create a link to it but their address bar does not permit it. The write-up had a short interview with the person who was aiding Senna when he died. He told of how there was no physical response from Ayrton, then he let out a large gasp and that was it. Hard article to read. This overshadowed the other two serious accidents, one of which was a nasty crash involving Reubens Barrichello while he was coming back onto the main straight-away. Due to all of these occurrences, the track took it upon themselves to throw in some chicanes to slow the high-speeds of these cars. Now it’s known more for being a track that’s very hard on the brakes.

Off to the start of the race. All went well with the warm-up laps and the cars made their way off on a clean start. The move of the day went to Ralf Schumacher for his brilliant charge for the lead as Coulthard failed to get on the gas right away. Jarno Trulli dove into the picture cutting off Hakkinen in the first turn to take 3rd place. This left Michael Schumacher in 5th and Olivier Panis in 6th, with Montoya making his way through the field from his disappointing starting position.

If you read the Brazil review, you’ll recall how I said it seemed like Schumi’s performance was beginning to lack, or in his case become mortal. This was further confirmed when he started to lose positions to teammate Reubens Barrichello and the BAR/Honda of Panis, putting Schumacher out of points.

19 year-old rookie, Fernando Alonso, would be the first to crash of the day, placing his Minardi firmly into a tire barrier. It appeared to be driver error, simply overshooting a chicane and taking off straight through the turn.

One of the most anticipated moments of the day came when Reubens Barrichello approached Olivier Panis from behind to make a very important pass that would move him into points. He hung close to Panis then went to make his move. The drivers found themselves side-by-side through two medium turns. When Reubens saw he had the inside line in the second, he left the power to his Ferrari, beating Panis off the apex. It was a beautiful pass; especially in comparison to the other terrifying attempts he made all three races earlier this season, costing other drivers points or even knocking them out of the race.

Up at the front Coulthard was keeping excellent time with Ralf, staying within two seconds of him while pulling away from the 3rd place of Jarno Trulli by more than twenty seconds. This is where a lot of the excitement was though. The gap between Trulli and 7th place was somewhere around two seconds. This made for some great position changes within the group. Raikkonen crashed out of the race on lap 17 when it was later discovered that his steering wheel came loose.

The race entered phase two when the first set of pit stop began. Jenson Button had to make two stops due to a fueling rig problem the first time around. He would end up finishing the race in the last running position. There were clean stops for the clump of cars in the front, which included Coulthard, Hakkinen and Barrichello. Ralf made it in and out of the pits to keep the lead. Montoya made a sweet pass on Jarno Trulli after they finished their round of stops.

Shortly after his pit stop, Michael Schumacher began to slow severely and was forced to make another stop. The cause was a flat tire. On the next lap around he was still having difficulties. Again he came into the pits, but this time he would call it a day due to a busted suspension which was believed to also be the cause of his flat. This was the first time Schumacher had retired from a failure since the middle of last season. Folks, there are some cars that break down every single race because of performance problems (Jaguar, Minardi, Arrows, Sauber…). This is a testament to the absolute strength of Ferrari and the engine they’ve built. I can’t even remember the last time a Ferrari threw a race because of an engine problem. Barrichello did have his engine expire during warm-up in Brazil. That wasn’t the actual race though, when it counted most. They’re just solid. And I think McLaren will be back to this level sometime this season.

Speaking of DNFs, the next one would come when Mazzacane had an engine fire in his Prost on lap 31. This would be the last race for Mazzacane as a Prost driver as stated earlier in the article. And two laps after making his stop, Jacques Villeneuves engine lets go leaving a huge plume of white smoke behind (and probably a nice trail of oil on the pavement!)

Race positions pretty much stayed the same until the second round of pit action when the Ferrari team put Reubens Barrichello out in between the McLarens, placing him in third. Around lap 45 the next clump of cars, which includes the leader, comes in for fuel and tires. During Montoya’s stop, he managed to stall the engine three times. This is a lot of wear and tear on a clutch and the engine as a whole. It was so much so that his right front tire area caught on fire and his engine began to smoke from under its cowling. He finally made his way out of the pits but eventually had to come back in and hang it up for the day. This bumped Heidfeld into 7th where he would finish his day.

So the order after the pit stops would be R. Schumacher, Coulthard, Barrichello, Hakkinen, Trulli and Frentzen. This is also the order they would finish the race, but not before the Minardi of Tarso Marques would quit. At the end of the day, there were ten DNFs, with the cut-off line between Button and Marques.

A historical moment would occur when Ralf crossed the line, taking his first F1 victory; and the first for BMW/Williams since Villeneuve’s Championship year with them in 1997. Big brother Michael greeted Ralf in the winner’s area to congratulate him. These two have already set a record this season by starting in the front row together. Now they’ve become the first siblings to have both won F1 races.

Coutlhard’s 2nd place finish puts him in a tie with M. Schumacher for first place in the Championship with 26 points. In the Constructor’s Championship, Ferrari leads with 40 points, McLaren/Mercedes is ten behind with 30, BMW/Williams now has 12 points (all of them coming from Ralf), and then it’s Jordan/Honda, Sauber(!!!), BAR/Honda and Benetton.

Some other quick finishing notes were Alesi coming in 8th, which is the area he’s found himself in the past couple races; the Arrows of Enrique Bernoldi finishing for, I believe the first time this season; and Luciano Burti making what would be his last appearance with Jaguar, finishing 11th.

Next Race: Spanish Grand Prix on April 29th

This is one of the more generic tracks. It sort of lacks any distinct characteristics except for having the longest straight-away of all the courses on the roster (Indy is still the fastest straight). There are also many low-speed, sweeping turns.

Last year Mika Hakkinen started the McLaren upswing with Coulthard finishing in second. Prost’s Jean Alesi made contact with Pedro de la Rosa, who was at the time with the Arrows team. This year he will be making his return with Jaguar in Spain. Ralf Schumacher ran a strong race, running third a majority of the time, showing the potential of the BMW engine in the first year with the team.

The big deal this year will be the introduction of traction control and other computer aided features. I’ll get more into it in the next review (I haven’t really got a grasp on the small details).

STANDINGS

San Marino Race Order (Season Points):

*Gaston Mazzacane will no longer appear in the rundown figuring he’s out of a ride and accumulated no points. De la Rosa will fill the 22nd slot on the list.

A Moment of Reflection on Jackass

It seems as though one of the funniest shows on television might be pulled soon. I haven’t heard anything directly saying that but it’s just a matter of time until idiot Lieberman (Is that how you spell it? I don’t care!) gets his hands on it and pressures the powers that be to ditch it. This is in response to another teenage idiot who tried a car-jumping (???) stunt which landed him in the hospital. We were this close to thinning the herd of idiots by one more. Allegedly, this was taped as a staged stunt to be sent into Jackass. Now, Johnny, Bam and the rest of the guys are catching the blame for one kid's poor judgment.

I’m going to take the classic defense viewpoint and say that I’m smarter than that. I realize that these guys are professionals and I should leave it to them. That’s also why they’ve gotten to where they are today! I love watching a guy wear a Jellyfish like a hat, but would I do it? Hell, no! The same goes for playing in poo! It’s just a matter of wits and these little pricks had none. I didn’t have any either when I was in grade school decided to turn the hose on in the kitchen to fill the linoleum floor with water, turning it into a huge slip-n-slide! (Shotgun Reviews does not endorse or take responsibility for you turning the kitchen floor into a huge slip-n-slide! You could get electrocuted!) Kids do different degrees of extreme stuff. Some do none at all. But to place the blame on a television show just because it can be easily emulated is the simple escape from saying that the parents have very little control over their kids. My incident happened because I was a latchkey kid and had a big imagination. I never saw that on TV.

This week on Today Matt Lauer (highbrow peckerhead) took it upon himself to tackle this issue and throw in his own biased opinion. He said something to the guest like this, “Guest’s Name, you or I wouldn’t watch Jackass, wrestling or Springer…” I know it went something like that and it was said in that context. Right away he pinned society’s problems on television. Now, E.I.C. Troy would probably be a lot more educated and clever in speaking about this, but I had to address it since I’m a huge fan of the Jackass and a bandwagon fan of Wrestling. It was an insulting statement on a couple different levels. For one thing, it’s stereotyping a segment of society. Apparently, if you watch Jackass, you also watch Springer and Wrestling. And if you watch Wrestling, you watch Jackass and Springer. And so on… I don’t know which is better. As a matter of fact it boils down to opinion. And Matt Lauer was throwing around his pointy-faced, beady-eyed opinion. My opinion is that Matt Lauer looks like an albino lab rat! And now they’re starting their stupid-ass “Where in the World is Matt Lauer”. I don’t give a shit where he is and I hope nobody figures it out so his dumb ass is stuck there. If you have suggestions on the most torturous place to send Matt Lauer, PLEASE EMAIL THEM TO ME (brianstovall@hotmail.com) and I’ll post them in the next article!!! Back to LabRat’s opinion. Why doesn’t he spout off his views on every other topic he reports on throughout the broadcast? Because he’s trying to directly kick, what is in his mind, a segment of the viewing audience in the balls while trying to impress his stock market, yuppie, golfing buddies. There, I just stated my opinion about a class of people. These clumps of people who are into the stock market are also yuppies and sucky amateur golfers. And sucky amateur golfers are also yuppies that are into the stock market. And so on… It’s very insulting and I believe that all the things he condemned are really his guilty pleasures.

I’ve got to chill out and save some for my review of “Driven.” Spanish Grand Prix, April 29th on Speedvision.

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Brian Stovall's email address is brianstovall@hotmail.com. Here’s a sneak preview of his review of “Driven”: It sucked ass! What a stupid piece of shit! I could read the newspaper through this dialogue! Why is shit like this given funding and there’s still no surefire cure for Athlete’s Foot? More to come…

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